Cursive sucks part 2

Listen,

I got really worked up yesterday about cursive and the fact that it is useless.  I find that I am being consumed by this topic; I am festering like a bed sore. If I keep dwelling on cursive, I might just undo the years of therapy that have made me the calm, pacifist that I am today.  I know I need to move on and accept that people want to live in the past, but before doing so here are a couple more gems form the article's comments section:

"I don't know how the students of today will know how to read cursive writing unless they learn how to write it. If anyone ever wants to be a historian moving forward if cursive is not taught in school, then they will have to go and try to find some resource to teach it to them [sic]. While I personally hate writing in cursive other than my signature, learning it has helped me better identify other's poor handwriting and allowed me to be able to read older documents and letters that I wouldn't be able to otherwise.

Hooray for cursive!"  What the hell...?  We are going to have to break this down a bit more: 

"If anyone ever wants to be a historian moving forward if cursive is not taught in school, then they will have to go and try to find some resource to teach it to them."  From what I gather, this person thinks that we should continue to teach every child cursive just in case somebody wants to become a historian.   Maybe those few individuals that want to be historians could learn cursive in historian school while learning to be a historian and stop wasting everybody else's time.  Using this person's logic, we should teach all children how to do brain surgery just in case one of them wants to be a brain surgeon.  If we don't teach them brain surgery in 3^rd grade, they'll just have to find another resource to teach it to them. 

"While I personally hate writing in cursive other than my signature, learning it has helped me better identify other's poor handwriting…"  First, let me get this straight; you hate writing in cursive, but want to force your children to do it.  This sounds like child abuse to me.   Second, as previously discussed, signatures are not cursive.  Third, this moron claims that one of the benefits of learning cursive is that it has given them the ability to "better identify other's poor handwriting."  What an amazing skill to have.  I would imagine that identifying other's bad handwriting is very gratifying.  I can think of nothing I'd like to be able to do more than sit around and point out bad handwriting to  untrained individuals.  Maybe they would be willing to teach a community education class at the local rec center.  My only counterargument is that I don't have to learn to play the violin to know when somebody is playing it badly. 

"Hooray for cursive!"  Go f#@% yourself.

"It's not about cursive writing. It's about the development of a human being, and yes, cursive writing should remain in the curriculum because it develops the wholeness of a human being in ways other activities do not."   Wait, what? Is this person really trying to say that learning cursive makes you a better human being?  Do they really think that learning cursive "develops the wholeness of a human being in ways other activities do not?" For real?  I will have to keep this in mind when I die and face judgment.  Here is how it will go:

Him: I see here that you watched football on Sunday, drank Coke, listened to Tool, and used foul language on occasion.  What do you have to say for yourself?"

Me: "Well, I did learn cursive in third grade."

Him: "Well why didn't you say so, come on in."

If what this person is saying is true then I shudder to think of the person I would have been today if I hadn't learned cursive as a child…truly terrifying.