Some stuff(ed animal) that is on my mind…

Listen,

I often feel that Brady, my oldest, inherited most of my less-than-desirable characteristics.  The worst of which is my ability to worry.  Many people who know my family know that I come from a long line of worriers.  This may best be demonstrated by our obsessive door locking.  If you were to go to my parents' house right now, I can guarantee that all of the doors will be locked. Frequently, somebody will go out to grab something from their car only to return to a locked door.  I am sure my dad can tell you many stories about being locked out while barbequing in the front yard or after shoveling the snow off the driveway.  The best part is, nobody (besides my dad) really gets upset about getting locked out because we have all been guilty of locking somebody out.  It is a reflex to lock any and all unlocked doors that we see.  I have also been known to excuse myself from the table while eating at a restaurant or run out during a shopping trip just to make sure I locked the car.  Shocking isn't it.  I love keyless entry because it saves me from having to walk all the way to the car to check.  What a great invention.

So Brady is our worrier.  Every time we get on the freeway to go anywhere, Brady will ask in a very concerned voice if we are going the right way.  Even if we are on our way home from some place he always asks just to make sure.  On longer trips, he has to be reassured multiple times that yes, dad knows the way and that we are not lost. His propensity for worrying has led him to have a very unique bedtime preparation procedure.  After we read stories and brush teeth, I go through a mental checklist to make sure everything is done or I know he will be marching out of his room to have me fix whatever I forgot to do.  Here is the checklist:

1. Close the closet

2. Close the blinds and curtains

3. Place blanket over his castle*

4. Turn on the night light

5. Turn on his music**

6. Make sure the CD player is on repeat***

7. Make sure he has his 2 favorite stuffed animals, Shamu and his polar bear named Blueberry****

8. Turn on the fan*****

9. Turn on Star Wars light saber night light******

10. No cats in the room

11. Door closed all the way as I leave

* I think it casts weird shadows or is possessed or something.

** This started last Christmas when we would turn on a CD of Christmas songs for him to listen to as he fell asleep

*** If he happened to stay awake for the whole CD he would come ask us to turn it on again.  Instead of teaching him how to do it himself, we started putting it on repeat and letting it play all night.  Now the music has to be on all the time just in case he happens to wake up in the middle of the night.  .

****Not sure where the name Blueberry came from.  He keeps one on either side of him in his bed to act as both pillow and body guard.   Also, if either Shamu or Blueberry cannot be located (which happens more often that you can imagine), he has a cougar who can step in as a backup.  He refers to this cougar as "Emergency Puma".  Did you know the scientific name for a cougar is Puma concolor?

***** Summer time only in winter we sometimes use a space heater if it is really cold.

****** Yes, this is a second night light, but this one turns itself off after 10 minutes, so it is not acceptable as his only night light, but it is too cool not to use.

I take full blame for all of this and will pay for any and all therapy that is needed down the road

Before I get into my main story, the main reason for me telling you the above information, there are 2 more pieces of information you need to know:

Item #1: Evan (the 2, almost 3 year old) has a creaky door; you know, squeaky hinges.  Hana and I decided to leave them this way so we can hear him when he gets out of bed.  He usually does this at least twice after he's been put in bed and the squeaky hinges allow us to go downstairs and still hear him when he gets up.  If he is not intercepted, he'll just wander around and play with toys.

Item #2: Sokols are also very good at storing things.  My mom has kept a lot of stuff from my childhood which I absolutely love and appreciate.  Of the many things that she kept and that I now have are a few of my favorite stuffed animals.  Two teddy bears, Light Brownie and Dark Brownie, were always my favorites and a while back I let Brady put them with his stuffed animal collection.

Now to the story:  Two days ago we had a dilemma.  Shamu had gotten dirty; spilled on during some other activity and Emergency Puma was somehow left in Evan's room.  Evan was already asleep (allegedly) and I was not about to risk opening his door which would wake him up.  Brady has a closet full of other stuffed animals; another characteristic he inherited from me.  Since he uses his stuffed animals as pillows at night they have to be the right size and softness to be accepted as a bed partner; Shamu, Blueberry, and Emergency Puma are the best for this.  After trying and dismissing several other stuffed animals, I decided to have him try Light Brownie, my old teddy bear.  After a few adjustments, Brady was content with Light Brownie as his companion for the night.  After a final wish for sweet dreams I closed his door content that everything was right with the world.  Then about 5 minutes later, Evan came sneaking out of his room, the rascal.  I took this chance to grab Emergency Puma from Evan's room.  I then peeked in on Brady, whose door does not squeak, and saw that he was still awake so I gave him Emergency Puma and set Light Brownie on his desk.  I felt like such a great dad recovering the cougar and saving the day (night).

Last night however, as we were preparing for bedtime, Brady informed me that he actually preferred my old teddy bear to Emergency Puma and that he had in fact traded back after I returned the cougar the night before.  This was turning into such a sweet, touching moment between father and son, special moment in our lives.  Here is the conversation that followed:

Me: "Do you remember my old bear's name?"

Brady: "I decided to call him Thunder."

Me: politely "His name is Light Brownie"

Brady: puzzled look

Me: "That is the name I gave him when I was a little boy, Light Brownie, you know like the brownies you eat, but since Dark Brownie was darker I named him Dark Brownie and this bear is Light Brownie."

Brady: with his puzzled look on his face, "That is not a very good name, I like Thunder better."

Me: getting a bit agitated and defensive, "Well, his name is Light Brownie, it has been for over 30 years." 

Brady: "I think that I will call him Thunder, we can just call him different names."

Me: choking back tears of fury and/or devastation, "Um… okay I guess."

Brady then proceeded to body slam poor Light Brownie Thunder onto the bed and giggle in delight.  At that moment something inside me shattered. 

Cursive sucks part 2

Listen,

I got really worked up yesterday about cursive and the fact that it is useless.  I find that I am being consumed by this topic; I am festering like a bed sore. If I keep dwelling on cursive, I might just undo the years of therapy that have made me the calm, pacifist that I am today.  I know I need to move on and accept that people want to live in the past, but before doing so here are a couple more gems form the article's comments section:

"I don't know how the students of today will know how to read cursive writing unless they learn how to write it. If anyone ever wants to be a historian moving forward if cursive is not taught in school, then they will have to go and try to find some resource to teach it to them [sic]. While I personally hate writing in cursive other than my signature, learning it has helped me better identify other's poor handwriting and allowed me to be able to read older documents and letters that I wouldn't be able to otherwise.

Hooray for cursive!"  What the hell...?  We are going to have to break this down a bit more: 

"If anyone ever wants to be a historian moving forward if cursive is not taught in school, then they will have to go and try to find some resource to teach it to them."  From what I gather, this person thinks that we should continue to teach every child cursive just in case somebody wants to become a historian.   Maybe those few individuals that want to be historians could learn cursive in historian school while learning to be a historian and stop wasting everybody else's time.  Using this person's logic, we should teach all children how to do brain surgery just in case one of them wants to be a brain surgeon.  If we don't teach them brain surgery in 3^rd grade, they'll just have to find another resource to teach it to them. 

"While I personally hate writing in cursive other than my signature, learning it has helped me better identify other's poor handwriting…"  First, let me get this straight; you hate writing in cursive, but want to force your children to do it.  This sounds like child abuse to me.   Second, as previously discussed, signatures are not cursive.  Third, this moron claims that one of the benefits of learning cursive is that it has given them the ability to "better identify other's poor handwriting."  What an amazing skill to have.  I would imagine that identifying other's bad handwriting is very gratifying.  I can think of nothing I'd like to be able to do more than sit around and point out bad handwriting to  untrained individuals.  Maybe they would be willing to teach a community education class at the local rec center.  My only counterargument is that I don't have to learn to play the violin to know when somebody is playing it badly. 

"Hooray for cursive!"  Go f#@% yourself.

"It's not about cursive writing. It's about the development of a human being, and yes, cursive writing should remain in the curriculum because it develops the wholeness of a human being in ways other activities do not."   Wait, what? Is this person really trying to say that learning cursive makes you a better human being?  Do they really think that learning cursive "develops the wholeness of a human being in ways other activities do not?" For real?  I will have to keep this in mind when I die and face judgment.  Here is how it will go:

Him: I see here that you watched football on Sunday, drank Coke, listened to Tool, and used foul language on occasion.  What do you have to say for yourself?"

Me: "Well, I did learn cursive in third grade."

Him: "Well why didn't you say so, come on in."

If what this person is saying is true then I shudder to think of the person I would have been today if I hadn't learned cursive as a child…truly terrifying.

Cursive Sucks...

Listen,

I just finished reading a ridiculous article on ksl.com.  The article asks the question: "Should Kids Still Learn Cursive Writing?"   I don't even want to link to it because of the stupidity of it, but for your "enjoyment" here is the link.   The article quotes Granite School District literacy coach Tricia Bromka in support of teaching cursive.  I do not know Tricia Bromka nor do I know what qualifies her to be a "literacy coach".  What I do know, is that she makes some very weak arguments for why cursive should be taught in our schools.  The following are some of her arguments (in bold) and my response to that argument:

 

1. "If you don't allow access to that form of writing, then you are taking away knowledge and knowledge is power"  You're kidding right?  We don't teach our children how to build bombs or cook methamphetamine in school either, so I guess by withholding that knowledge we are depriving them of additional power.

 

2. "One report showed writing in cursive helps your brain … handwriting is connected to higher-order thinking skills. If you are struggling over how to write every time, your fluency goes down."   I can show you one report to prove just about anything…how about a reference?  And if you are concerned about kids "struggling over how to write every time" how about not teaching them a worthless way to write.

 

3. "Some boys may never master cursive, but fluent writing is important."  Why is it important again?   And I am not one to play the "sexist card" but this statement really rubs me the wrong way.

 

4. "People should still be able to read cursive, as there are many documents out there written in cursive."  First off, being able to read cursive and being able to write cursive are 2 very different things.  Anybody who has had a child knows that they can learn to recognize and read letters and numbers far before they have the ability to write them.  Also, there are many documents written in Chinese and Russian, but we are not teaching those to our children.

 

5. "You need to expose them to different writing, have them be able to practice, but for their own fluency and mastery, they need explicit instruction on where they are in their developmental stage"  I'm not really sure what she is trying to say here.  It almost seems to me that she is arguing against teaching cursive in schools since not all children will be at the correct "developmental stage" to learn it.  I'm not sure though, at this point it seems like children will continue to learn cursive because some lady thinks it's a good idea.

 

If you haven't figured it out yet, I am against teaching cursive in school.  Cursive is an illegible form of writing.  In fact, in Washington (state) a law was passed in 2006 which states, "If a prescription isn't hand-printed, typed or electronically generated, it can't be filled."    It is essentially illegal for doctors to write prescriptions in cursive.   

 

Here is a sampling of the comments that people shared in support of cursive:

 

- "I think we need to teach the basics of the fundamentals, this being one of them ! [sic]"  When did cursive become fundamental?  And what exactly does the writer mean by "the basics of the fundamentals" anyway?  What a dolt…

 

- "Sometimes learning is done simply for the sake of learning and each piece of knowledge enriches our lives … You will NEVER waste your time learning something new!"  I feel obliged to bring up making bombs and cooking meth again.

 

- "Children need to be able to Read cursive, the best way to learn is to be able to read and write it. Therefore it should be taught. I think that sums it all up."  Boy, I'd like to see this guys solution to world hunger… "People are hungry, they should be able to eat, the best way to eat is with food.  Therefore they should get food.  I think that sums it all up."

 

- "I think it's important to have good handwriting skills. I treasure the pieces of handwriting that I have found since my parents have died. Yes, the keyboard skills are important, but they don't leave a lasting example of someone."  And how exactly does printing not fulfill your desire to leave a lasting impression?  My printing style is just as unique as my cursive style.  I do like to go back and see my grandma's writing in recipe books and old letters, but her writing  would still exist without cursive.

 

- "You need cursive to sign your own name on documents. Yes, it is still needed."  No you don't.   Most people use something that has elements of cursive, but it is certainly not cursive.  Having or using a signature that is plain, outright cursive would be no more unique that the way you print your name.  Signatures are as unique as the individual wants it to be. They are certainly not cursive

 

- And finally this:

"And I guess next question is should we teach basic arithmetic? After all everyone has a calculator in their cell phone."  Comparing learning how to write in cursive to learning basic arithmetic is one of the single most asinine things I have ever heard.